The Connection Between Stress and the Nervous System (and How to Reset It)

Introduction: Why This Matters

Stress isn’t just “in your head.” It lives in your body. As a mom of two toddlers, a grad student, and the owner of a growing hypnotherapy practice, I know this truth on a very personal level.

Most mornings start the same way — the soft whistle of the kettle, the thud of little feet running down the hall, the clatter of cereal bowls. I wrap my hands around my mug and take those first warm sips of pumpkin spice chai tea while mentally juggling the day’s to-do list: assignments due, clients to check in with, snacks to pack, laundry that’s been sitting in the dryer for two days.

Even in that quiet moment, my heart can start racing before the day has even begun. But understanding how the nervous system works has changed everything for me. I’ve learned how to catch myself before the overwhelm spirals — and I now have simple, powerful tools that help me reset so I can actually enjoy the day in front of me.


The Stress Response: Fight, Flight, or Freeze

When your brain perceives a threat — whether it’s a looming deadline, a crying toddler, or the ding of another notification — it signals your body to release stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline.

This activates the sympathetic nervous system, also called “fight or flight,” which:
    •    Speeds up your heart rate
    •    Tenses your muscles
    •    Diverts energy from digestion and immune function to survival mode

For me, this might look like trying to get my kids dressed for preschool while my inbox fills up with client messages and reminders. My jaw tightens, my breath gets shallow, and I feel like I’m running out of time — even when it’s only 8:00 a.m.


Chronic Stress and Dysregulation

The problem isn’t occasional stress — it’s when your nervous system never gets a chance to calm back down.

As a mom and a small business owner, it can feel like I’m living in “go-mode” from the moment my feet hit the floor until long after bedtime. When I don’t intentionally reset, I notice:
    •    Trouble falling asleep even when I’m exhausted
    •    My patience running thin with my kids
    •    Brain fog when I sit down to work or study
    •    Tension headaches or stomach aches

This is the cost of a nervous system that stays “switched on” for too long.

The Parasympathetic Reset

The good news? Our bodies come with a built-in reset button — the parasympathetic nervous system (PNS), also called “rest and digest.”

When activated, it slows the heart rate, deepens the breath, and helps you move from “frazzled mom” mode into a calmer, more grounded version of yourself. I notice it when my shoulders drop and I suddenly feel like I can think clearly again.


Practical Ways to Reset Your Nervous System

Here are some of my favorite, real-life tools — the ones that actually work on the messy days:

    1.    Box Breathing at the Kitchen Counter
I do this while waiting for toast to pop or while the kids sit on the floor with crayons. Inhale for 4 counts, hold for 4, exhale for 4, hold for 4. Just 3–5 cycles can take me from “spinning” to steady.

    2.    Cold Water Splash
A quick splash of cold water on my face while the kettle refills feels like hitting a reset button. My kids think it’s funny — which usually makes me laugh too.

    3.    Grounding Exercises During Toddler Chaos
When both kids are talking to me at once, I take a second to notice:
5 things I can see (toys on the floor count!), 4 I can touch, 3 I can hear, 2 I can smell (usually peanut butter), and 1 I can taste (tea, ALWAYS tea).

    4.    Dance Party Resets
If the whole house feels tense, I put on music and we have a two-minute dance party right in the kitchen. My kids giggle, I shake out the tension, and the mood lifts for all of us.

    5.    Connection Hugs
Sometimes the most powerful reset is just scooping up one of my kids, feeling their little heartbeat against mine, and breathing deep until both of us calm down.


Closing: You Have the Power to Reset

You can’t stop the chaos — but you can teach your body to stay steady inside it. Each time you pause for a breath, dance in the kitchen, or notice your surroundings, you’re training your nervous system to return to calm more easily.

For me, this means I can enjoy the sound of the kettle, the sticky toddler hugs, and even the loud mornings without feeling like I’m drowning. And that’s what I want for you too — a way to feel safe and steady, even when life feels loud.